Its Paralyzing

“The very information that should move us is so overwhelming that is actually paralyzes us. It is like a big meal that is suppose to provide fuel for our body but actually makes us feel like lying down and taking a nap. Instead of energizing us for action, the overwhelming injustice of the world actually makes us feel numb. We sense of hearts melting and our feet sinking into concrete.”

This experience was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. Ngolala (gula) was one of my favorite villages to visit because of all the children. We would play games, chase each other, I would sit and hold any child that came into my lap. It was amazing. The first time we visited the village and left all the children followed us (as usual) and I was carrying two children in my arms. When we reached a point where we had to move on I set these beautiful children down. As I did this I looked into the their eyes and saw such innocence, then I looked up to their hair and saw that it was a light color and then down to their bloated bellies (both are signs of malnutrition) and I felt numb. Numb to the fact that these children may not make it past their 5^th birthday because they don’t have enough food. Malnutrition causes more then 55% of child deaths in our world.

Another time I was walking through a village and a young girl around 9 comes up and holds my hand. She was carrying her brother on her back and keeping track of her little sister at the same time. We were walking to visit a school in the area that some of our orphanage kids were showing us. As we were walking into the school this little girl looks up at me and says “my mom is dead” … I was speechless I didn’t know what to say so I asked her about her Dad and she said “my dad is dead” …again I was paralyzed. She said it without an ounce of pain, like she is so used to death that she no longer feels the feelings that come with it. It was then that I realized that the children in our orphanage are not the only ones who don’t have a mom and/or dad to care for them but that there are many children dealing with the same situations.

Then there was the movie night. I was watching house two girls and making sure that they were being looked after. Before the movie started I noticed the door to their home was open so I went in to see if any of the girls were left behind. I walked into their bedroom (10 beds in a room for 16 girls to live) and what I saw made me sick. There were no girls but there were many little cockroaches all over one of the beds. I went over to the bed to get them off but then more started to come onto the bed. I lost control. I was so sad, and mad that these young girls lived like this. I didn’t know what to do and how to act. I was thinking about the villages I saw earlier where children sleep on dirt floors, and wear one piece of clothing and that one piece has holes in it, I remembered seeing the little girls and boys with the light hair and big bellies.  And yet we live with more then enough resources to help them but we (myself especially) have chosen not to help.

What is one of the best was your can help? To sponsor a child.